A Mindful Bride

Wedding Photos

2009-09-27T07:51:00.003-05:00

Greetings all -

We are still honeymooning. Here is our (AWESOME) photographers' blog post with our wedding photos, that I thought I'd share. I'll do more recaps when we return.

Cheers!

I'm married...

2009-09-15T00:35:00.002-05:00

Sorry for seriously disappearing this month before the wedding. It happened. It was AMAZING--I am not someone who expected or needed my wedding to be the best day of my life so far. But it was. It was perfect. We are jetting off on our honeymoon tomorrow, but I'll post more details when we return the end of September.

Cheers!

Practice Flowers

2009-08-04T23:20:00.002-05:00

This weekend my mom and I did a couple practice runs with flowers. Here's our practice bouquet.

And bout

I think they turned out pretty well and that we can pull off our DIY flowers.

On Budgets

2009-07-30T11:34:00.002-05:00

There was a flurry of discussion a while ago about wedding budgets. I didn't chime in, but I am going to now. What I say may not be popular, but that isn't what this whole process is about -- it's about being you and being honest about that. Honestly, our wedding budget is way way higher than we intended it to be. Well, that's not entirely true. At a certain point we made a decision to have a wedding that cost more or less what we are spending. I actually didn't really want to know what it was costing--we've paid so much as we go (deposits, invitations, dress) that I sort of lost track and wasn't too upset about that. At this point we can't really change much, so what's the point. Sweetie, thinking the picture was better than it is put together a spreadsheet and now we know. It's a big number. Even though we are buying our own alcohol and doing our own flowers. It's a number that we could have done a lot of other things with. Do I regret it? No. Planning a wedding has meant a lot of things to me and for us as a couple. We have learned a lot about ourselves and our families; some good, some not so good. And while planning a wedding hasn't always been "fun" we have grown so much during this process. We have started to figure out who we are as a couple and how we as a couple relate to our friends and our families. We've seen how to press our families buttons (and, hopefully, we can translate this knowledge in the future into how not to press their buttons). I have learned a lot about myself and my fiance. And, I have to say what I have learned only makes me love him more. He is so loving and kind and supportive. He may be a pushover about somethings, but when people are hurting me, he is my champion. What a wonderful feeling. I trust him more now that we've gone through this. We feel more comfortable with each others strengths and weaknesses. My fiance will never be perfect and shame on me if I ever expect him to be; he wouldn't be very lovable if he were. I know that a party may not be worth what we are spending, but I certainly think that a solid marriage is. Could we have accomplished what we have and spent much less, absolutely! Each of our situations is different, and my sanity was certainly worth some portion of what we are spending. I am truly envious of all you brides who have thrifted and crafted and created a beautiful meaningful wedding at a fraction of the cost of ours. You have accomplished something really wonderful that I haven't. And I admire you for that. But this is our wedding and we have done the best that we can. And this experience, this opportunity for growth, is priceless. So, I will not feel bad about the cost--I will celebrate what this journey has brought us (even if its pretty darn expensive!). Cheers!

Shoes

2009-07-22T13:16:00.003-05:00

So, I am trying to pick shoes. If you'll recall, my bridesmaids are wearing aqua, lavender, light blue, and pink. They are wearing these shoes, to help keep their look coherent. I also have a pair like this, that I could wear to match, but I think I'd prefer something more colorful.

Here are a few options I've come up with, what do you think?

* sorry I don't have photo credits

I am now afraid of my to-do list...

2009-07-21T12:05:00.003-05:00

With only 53 days left to go until the wedding and still needing to finish my job, find an apartment, pack, and move between now and then in addition to all the remaining wedding tasks, I am feeling overwhelmed!! I know it will all get done, but these days I am afraid to look at my to-do list because I know that there are so many things that need to get done like NOW! The likelihood of out-of-town bags and favors diminishes every day...

On a totally different subject, I apologize for the lack of pictures lately. For whatever reason, I have gotten out of the habit of taking photos myself (I sealed up our second to last invitation and totally forgot to take a picture of the liner to post!) and although I still enjoy looking at pretty wedding photos, they no longer provide the inspiration for me that they once did. Now, I see something pretty but I know its not what we are going to do, so I think "oh that's lovely" and quickly move on. So, that's why you haven't many photos around lately. I am trying to work on it because I know they make my blog oh so much prettier for your viewing pleasure!

I will be married soon...

2009-07-20T10:32:00.005-05:00

I took Friday off to attend a wedding in Newport Beach, California with my fiance. It was awesome--I think I really needed a mini-vacation. My my fiance's dad's cousin's grandson (not sure what that technical relationship is called) was getting married and my fiance was a groomsman. It was really neat to meet some future (attenuated) relatives. For some reason it gave me some much needed perspective about why I am really looking forward to being married. Sometimes our wedding feels like the capstone to my youth. That once we are married we have to start being "grown up" and that it will symbolize the end of some things in my life that I have really cherished (independence!) and we will now start to get "old." Which is true to some extent. But at this wedding for some reason I really felt how excited I am to have my own family with my fiance and our (hopefully) future children. I am also really looking forward to getting a whole new family to learn about, love, and with whom to share our joys and sorrows. Although I will never have another wedding, I am looking forward to all the new experiences marriage will bring. Including, hopefully, the wedding of our children and grandchildren. So, right now I am more excited about the adventure that will be our life together and less sad about my single life that I am leaving behind. I feel nearly, almost ready to be married. (And just in time, I think we have about 54 days left!).

My dress is "here"!

2009-07-16T17:48:00.002-05:00

The bridal shop just called to say they have my dress and to confirm shipping information--unfortunately I missed them! Hopefully my dress can get to Chicago by next weekend, so I can have my first fitting when I am up there for our couple's shower and tasting. Yay! This is so exciting. I am really glad it came early, so that I can (hopefully) arrange to have my first fitting the end of July instead of the middle of August.

oh, darling!

2009-07-15T10:24:00.006-05:00

Did you know that Whitney, of Darling Dexter, and her husband Dustin have started taking wedding photos?! Head over to oh, darling! photography to check them out!.

Their prices are sooooooooo reasonable. I would book them soon before they go up, becuase you know they will when they take beautiful images like these.

And from Whitney's blog they seem like just the creative and laid-back people that you'd want at your wedding (or at least that I'd want at my wedding!).

* all images from oh, darling! photography

Invitations.... (mostly) GONE!

2009-07-14T14:05:00.005-05:00

So, they are gone. The lady at the post office let me hand cancel them with their stamp, which only took about ten minutes to do 90. (Let's face it, I didn't really care, but after all the work we did, for ten minutes of time it seems worth it even if only a couple people notice.)

Wheee!! I know for some sending out the invitations has triggered anxiety about the wedding, but I feel GREAT (maybe because one big task on the to do list has been (mostly) crossed off??).

Good luck to everyone who is working on their invitations!! It was one of my favorite projects so far, I think because you get to see the finished product more immediately (as in you don't have to wait until "the day" to see the fruits of your effort--can we say instant gratification??). And I think for us, we found the perfect combination of DIY and purchased items to have a beautiful invitation that we also put some effort and heart into getting just right.

More Invitations...

2009-07-14T09:52:00.012-05:00

Has anyone else found invitations to be the project that just won't end?? Well ours were supposed to go into the mail the end of last week and I am going to put them in the mail today (will the Post Office hand stamp them for me? We shall see.) But we still have a couple trailing addresses and about ten or fifteen more that need to be addressed and stuffed... Sigh, soon enough.

So, as I posted before, we purchased our invitations from Bella Figura and had a really wonderful experience with them. We then picked out coordinating envelopes and envelope liners from Paper Source. Of course, we picked paper that didn't come pre-cut so my honey cut out 125 envelope liners, but we really think it was worth it. I "hand addressed" them all by tracing over a the address we printed directly onto the invitation--which worked out really well. And, finally, we ordered the Fling return address stamp from PaperWink.

PaperWink was really great to work with (although the stamp's arrival was delayed due to a mix-up at my apartment). But last night I was able to stamp all the back flaps with my parents' address, as shown here:

And today they will go in the mail--Yay!!

UPDATE on this weekend

2009-07-10T15:11:00.003-05:00

So, my sister has appendicitis and they are transferring her to a different hospital for surgery soon. Please say a little prayer that everything goes well. We have already cancelled some of the festivities for tomorrow and I just hope that she is feeling well enough to enjoy some of my shower on Sunday. I feel so bad after she worked so hard planning everything! But I suppose we will find a way to make the best of it.

I have to admit that I am bummed that things won't go as planned this weekend (and feeling selfish for feeling sorry for myself when my sister is in the hospital in pain and going to have to have surgery). But maybe it's good practice for the wedding--you just have to go with it and trust that it will work out. (And, as the doctor said, at least it's not my WEDDING that's tomorrow!)

Weekend Wedding Festivities

2009-07-10T09:57:00.003-05:00

I am off this weekend for my bachelorette party and shower, all planned in secret by my sisters (MOHs). I have no idea what's in store for me--other than it requires a white dress and a dress appropriate for tea. White not being my favorite color, finding a white dress was a challenge. I purchased no less than 4 white dresses in the attempt to find the right one for... I don't even know what. But it should be a wonderful time. I'll get to catch up with my Mom and sisters. And spend some time with some time with my future MIL and SIL without my fiance. Hopefully I'll have some not to scandalous pictures to post when I return.

Wedding Reception Activities

2009-07-06T12:01:00.008-05:00

During our wedding reception, we are going to have several activities--croquet and bocce ball outside on the lawn. We are also going to have a video guest book inside.

Recently, we thought about doing an auction/ raffle as well. But I've been reading up on it online and the general consenus seems to be that it would be tacky. Our idea was to sell raffle tickets that to benefit a charity. Then having a selection of items that people can try to win that have significance to us: so, for example, our guide book from Hawaii with book marks of what we did and funny stories from our trip, the box from the bottle of champagne that honey gave me that I saved for almost a year (it even moved with me) before we drank it the night we got engaged and a bottle of champange, a framed engagement photo of us. Each will have a jar where people can put their raffle tickets for a chance to win the item. The idea is to have something inexpensive, but symbolic, along with a little story about us. Hence, it would more about getting people involved in a fun way to read about our relationship, then about making money or winning a cool prize.

Tacky? Or creative and fun?

Remember to Breathe

2009-07-06T10:53:00.002-05:00

We had a wonderful long weekend and got most of our invitations done--envelopes addressed and lined and stuffed!! I haven't taken any pictures yet, so I'll have to update tomorrow. We are still waiting on our return address stamp that we ordered from Paperwink to get them out the door, but it should arrive this weekend, so we are looking good :)

Also, I wanted to send along this link with the reminder that breathing is a great way to help you get centered and deal with stress and feeling overwhelmed. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed in the midst of wedding planning--with sometimes towering to do lists, dealing with families who don't "get" your wedding planning, and the fact that soon you will be a "wife"--but simply breathing can help keep you grounded, centered, and calm.

Holiday Weekend

2009-07-02T16:05:00.005-05:00

I am counting down the minutes... 120 minutes... until the holiday long weekend begins and... 170 minutes... until I can pick up my sweetie up at the aiport... The clock is going VERY slowly today...

Self-Addressed Envelopes

2009-06-29T10:11:00.003-05:00

So, I did a test run yesterday on DIY "calligraphying" my envelopes according to Jenn at With This Ring's tutorial. I chose the English font that I found at dafont. The font is a little boring, so I experimented with adding my own embellishments. I am a little afraid that it will look too perfect--since I am tracing over computer printed words. I also found using a calligraphy pen was much easier for me than a calligraphy marker. I couldn't figure out how to get the marker to make clean lines. One of the biggest problems I had was getting my printer to feed my envelopes (that's why the picture is off-center). Has anyone figured out a solution to this? The fiance is going to try with his home computer, so hopefully that will work. Does anyone have any other tips for this method of addressing?

To Do Lists

2009-06-22T14:55:00.002-05:00

I have been working with my own to do list that I made based on a Real Simple Wedding list and a book we purchased (and I have avoided the Knot's list with one-million to dos like the plague). We are behind!! But, I was reviewing our list and realized there were a lot of things scheduled to do by July 1st, that I'm not planning to do until August. Because I am leaving my current job mid-August and won't be starting a new one until after the wedding, I will have almost a month to get settled and do some projects. Things I was planning to do: programs, favors (unless they get scratched), other signage, welcome baskets. I noticed that my list has me scheduled to be done with everything by August 12 (one month pre-wedding). While I know that's ideal, I think for me it makes time to use that time to do projects since I won't be working. Any thoughts? I'd love to know if you think I'm crazy for planning to do so much in the last month? I think it might actually be nice to have something to keep me busy and keep my anxiety down.

Catering Confusion

2009-06-22T10:07:00.001-05:00

We met with a potential caterer for over an hour yesterday and all she talked to us about was color scheme and how the linens and tables and flowers would be used. Helpful, but I think we thought our caterer would be more concerned about the food. Has anyone had this experience? What did you think--is it a great value added that your caterer brought or did it mean that the food cannot speak for itself?

Musings on Marriage

2009-06-16T10:39:00.003-05:00

As a mindful bride, I have spent a lot of time thinking about (and worrying about) my upcoming marriage. Will we be happily married? How do we make sure that we have a loving supportive marriage? I really like reading the Simple Marriage website because it offers such interesting insights on how to have a good marriage.

What resources have you found helpful when contemplating your upcoming marriage?

Wear Life Loosely

2009-06-15T09:39:00.002-05:00

"The Law of Detachment says that in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it." - Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

"If we simply saw life as a loose garment, something we drape around ourselves but are not firmly attached to, we would find it easier to live. I feel more comfortable living this way, as if life were something I could slip out of at any moment. It seems to help me focus on the important things instead of the details that mean little." - Dr. Bernie S. Siegel, 365 Prescriptions for the Soul

My yoga instructor read this to us at the beginning of class last week and I immediately thought of its relevance to wedding planning. It is so easy to become so attached to every detail that we forget to focus on the important things. Thinking of my wedding as a loose fitting garment instead of the definition of our life or future marriage helps decrease my anxiety that it won't perfectly reflect who we are. Instead, we just need to focus on the important aspects and remember that the rest is just the garment that we dress the day, the occassion in.

Bridesmaids' Gift?

2009-06-13T12:10:00.002-05:00

Wouldn't this clutch make a great bridesmaids' gift?

Available here via Erin Ever After

And coordinate with bridesmaids' dresses in these colors?

Taking a Break from the Usually Scheduled Wedding Blogging to Bring You a Message from..

2009-06-12T00:00:00.002-05:00

Planet Earth

Did you know that there is a giant vortex of waste (mostly plastic) floating in the Pacific Ocean between Hawaii and San Francisco? It is estimated that it is larger than the state of Texas and may even be larger than the United States!! Because plastic isn't biodegradeable, every piece of plastic that has ended up in the ocean is still there. As a result of currents, the plastic that doesn't sink has collected in this area in the Pacific Ocean. Over time it breaks up into smaller pieces that marine life mistakes for food. It ends up killing many of these animals and also gets into the food chain. And this plastic continent is growing everyday.

The good news, it looks like Project Kaisei is doing something about it! But we could all do more by being more mindful about what we buy and remembering to take reusable bags with us to the store.

For more information about this growing threat to our planet, you can go here, and here or just search plastic vortex pacific ocean in Google.

Quandry*

2009-06-11T11:26:00.003-05:00

Gah! I am totally lusting after One Barefoot Bride's totally awesome birdcage veil and fascinator from Kasia Fink. Isn't it gorgeous?!

by One Barefoot Bride

But I really really want a picture of a blowing veil like the one below.

by Meg Smith via Snippet & Ink

So, what's a girl to do?

* Blog post title inspired by Mouse

What's it all for?

2009-06-11T09:00:00.001-05:00

For love...

"My love for him is not of this world. It can't be broken by anything, not by and worldly ideas of what love is. Not by death. Nothing. Love is Godly, God is love. And we are his children. Our bond will carry us to the eternities and beyond. It's not cheesy, it's truth."
- Stephanie from the NieNie Dialogues

Non-Matching Bridesmaids

2009-06-10T12:02:00.005-05:00

j crew, aaron delesie, the image is found, sugarlove weddings via green wedding shoes via bespoke press

So excited to read the post on Green Wedding Shoes today about non-matching bridesmaid dresses. I have been a bit concerned about going this route, but am feeling much better about my decision now :)

UPDATE: Check out Erin Ever After's post today for more pictures of non-matching bridesmaids!

An Ode to my Followers

2009-06-09T16:03:00.001-05:00

Thanks for stopping by
to see and read and comment
you make me gleeful!

Flower Trial

2009-06-09T09:54:00.006-05:00

After her initial hesitation, my Mom has jumped on board with our plan to DIY flowers. She is even taking a flower class at the local community college. She sent me this picture over the weekend--that greenery, it's from the shrub outside. And the roses are from my parents' garden. Anyway, this isn't exactly what we are going for, but a good trial, I think, using what she had around.

I apologize for the lack of posting--trying to stay away from wedding blogs in an effort to focus on work really cuts down the inspiration for posts. But, we have been making slow but steady progress on our to do list: we finally approved the proof for our invitations and should be getting them in a couple weeks, I am going to order bridesmaid dresses this week (woo hoo for 20% off coupon from JCrew), and I think I have found hair and make-up people, among other things we have been up to...

Weird Love

2009-06-08T17:33:00.002-05:00

Via Erin Ever After via Rockstar Diaries

You've likely seen this before, but it's worth re-posting. Happy Monday!

Black Pencil Skirt

2009-06-04T10:29:00.005-05:00

Do you have one item of clothing that you adore above all others? I do. My black pencil skirt. I almost didn't buy it because it didn't have a matching jacket. But, even so, I wear it every week (and sometimes, when I am feeling lazy twice a week, don't tell). I love it--it's flattering, it goes with everything, you can dress it up or down. All it needs is a great pair of shoes. So, what's your favorite item of clothing (other than your wedding dress, of course)?

Bridesmaid Dresses

2009-06-02T14:45:00.004-05:00

If my bridesmaids like these, I may end up doing bridesmaid dresses in these colors and giving the ladies a choice between two styles. What do you think? Look too bridesmaid-y? Too pastel-y?

Hydrangeas

2009-06-01T09:21:00.003-05:00

Photos by Harry Taylor via Mint

For a while now my mother has decided that the one thing she really cares about at my wedding is blue hydrangeas. I have been unenthusiastic. Not because I don't like hydrangeas, but because I think they can seem a little stiff and boring. But Ellie's arragnements with hydrangeas from her recent wedding are awesome! I really love the way they were combined with other more colorful flowers. So, we'll see. Maybe my Mom will get her hydrangeas after all..

Rings and Things

2009-05-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

So, I have a ring dilemma. My engagement ring is curved toward the bottom, so a straight ring won't fit up next to it, unless it is curved to fit my engagement ring. If it is curved to fit my engagement ring, it will look funny to wear without my engagement ring. And, I am planning on leaving my engagement ring behind when we go travel around the world. So, I am contemplating buying two rings--one fitted and just a simple band for traveling. My fiance isn't thrilled about this idea. But I really can't think of another solution. Any thoughts?

I wonder if this band would work with my engagement ring, but even if it did, it isn't quite as plain as I wanted for traveling around the world.

I'm baaaaaaaack...

2009-05-29T09:29:00.002-05:00

Whew! That was a wonderful whirlwind weekend/ week. The best part was showing my Mom our venues on Wednesday. It was actually the first time I had seen our hotel, Church, and reception venue all at once and it was very exciting. I can actually finally see things coming together and the details all seemed really manageable, in part, because our venues don't require much in the way of decorations.

We also went to go hear our band play on Sunday night. It was a small crowd, so we got a chance to hang out with them during their break. They are going to be great! And I am really glad we got a chance to get to know each other a little better before they perform at our wedding.

It seems like our last big decision is... catering! Less than four months out and we still don't have a caterer, but we are working with a couple people to come up with quotes, so I think that will be resolved soon.

Farmer's Market Breakfast

2009-05-19T17:31:00.003-05:00

I love Farmer's Markets!! I think maybe it's that you are actually buying your food from the people who put their energy, heart, and soul into growing it. So, I am really excited that our Farmer's Market is open and I can get fresh fruit and veggies and other yummy things. This breakfast from Saturday shows off my fresh whole wheat honey bread with sunflower seeds and strawberries--unfortunately, we missed the eggs so these are just what I had from Whole Foods. I hope you are enjoying fresh fruit and vegetables, too!

Wow... time flies

2009-05-19T13:53:00.003-05:00

No updates today--I have been rather, er... distracted at work lately, so to get myself back on track I am swearing off looking at blogs at work. But I am ahead of schedule today (wow! not looking at blogs really gets me working), so I have about five more minutes to poke around. We are going to be doing LOTS'o'wedding stuff this weekend:

- Friday I fly to Chicago
- Saturday we are checking out Farmer's Markets to see about ordering our DIY Flowers, meeting with our priest, I have a make-up trial, we are going to look at rings and take a dance lesson
- Sunday we are meeting with the music director at the Church, checking out venues to get goodies for getting ready, Sunday "brunch," rehearsal dinner and welcome drinks, swinging by REI to check out packs for our RTW trip, and checking out our band
- Monday we are going sailing with the future in-laws and doing centerpiece trial runs
- Tuesday we have our tasting and our parents are meeting for the first time
- Wednesday my Mom and I are going to check out the Church, hotel, and reception venue (she hasn't seen them yet)
- Thursday morning I return to Memphis (early!)

Whew!! But it's been really nice to have this long weekend to get wedding stuff done. For the past couple months we have been adding to dos for the weekend and now we are pretty booked. Hopefully, it will be productive.

On Wedding Dress Shopping...

2009-05-07T11:54:00.006-05:00

One of the best things to me about blogging is the opportunity to get support from so many women and to get a glimpse into their own struggles and triumphs in wedding planning. I have finally realized that those aspects of wedding planning that trip me up the most are the same things that trouble me in my daily life, just magnified many times. Yes, one of these is choosing what to wear. I am not terribly stylish or hip, but I do care about looking nice and like "me." Some days this means more than one tried and rejected outfit lands on my bed or floor before I head out the door for the day. When choosing what to wear on a normal every day outting can cause this much angst, no wonder choosing what to wear on my wedding day has caused even more. And after realizing my deep-seated fear of committing to a wedding dress was part of the delay I got worried that this signaled a deep repressed fear of committing to marry my dear sweet honey. Yes, I am scared (terrified even) of getting married and of being married. But I realized it was less about my fiance and more about the huge momentous event this was in my life. I do not believe that it will be or should be the best day of my life, but on this day before God, our society, and my community I will be transformed from a single woman into a wife and a life partner. This people, is a very big deal. So, no wonder, after searching high and low, I have not yet spied the perfect garment to wear on this day--I believe that, for me, there simply isn't a dress that could match this momentous occassion. After all that, here's a link to see a sneak peek at what I have chosen.

Invitations: Ordered!!!

2009-05-04T17:00:00.011-05:00

Printemps Invitation by Bella Figura

As promised, this is my next invitation post and I am writing to say that we (finally) picked out and ordered our invitations. Yay!! I am really very excited about this decision. I have to admit, that I fell in love with the Bella Figura invitations when I first checked them out. But, they were out of our price range, so I searched and searched for what I wanted instead. I sent my dear sweet patient fiance chasing links to many many invitations. The conversations would go like this:

Me: "What do you think of this?"

Him: "I like it."

The next day....

Me: "Hmmm... I don't love it."

And the search went on. I cannot even tell you how many invitations I have looked at, all I know is that it was WAY too many. A few weekends ago when I was in Chicago we visited Paper Source (there isn't one here) and picked this design. The positive--we could get our invitation letterpressed and the reply card flat printed, saving us money. Pricing it out, it came out to more than we had originally budgeted, but at that point we were willing to pay that price to cross one more item off of our list. And I was satisfied. But not excited. I was happy to have one more thing checked off the list. But I wasn't looking forward to having them arrive in the mail and looking at their prettiness.

We had already decided that we didn't need any enclosures except a reply card, because all the details are on our website and all the enclosures increase the price in muliples, plus it wastes paper. We are hoping that our guests will RSVP online, which left us wondering what to do with our reply cards--do we address and stamp them all knowing that only a few will get returned because most of our friends and family are pretty tech savvy (my grandfather RSVP'd once he received our Save the Date). So, fiance suggested including RSVP information... on the invitation. Gasp! Really?! More paper saved. More money saved. So, I looked--what is the price of a Bella Figura oh-so-pretty letterpressed invitation if all we ordered was the invitation? Slightly cheaper than our Paper Source option. And, Bella Figura's etiquette page has this to say about adding reply information to your invitation:

We've seen this idea become more popular as clients approach letterpress wedding invitations with both budget and the environment in mind. Printing your reply information in the bottom left hand corner of your invitation is an acceptable alternative that can save you money. Reply cards are a relatively modern invention, so by placing reply information on the invitation itself, you are still being traditional.

Sold! Oh, and they are eco-friendly, which also makes us feel like the invitation reflects our values as a couple. The invitation we ended up picking (pictured above) is more traditional and romantic than the designs we had previously entertained. But, I like it and fiance likes it. And I am excited to see them arrive at my door. So, today we ordered our invitations!!!

Thank you for your support as I have struggled with this decision. Now, I just need to figure out what DIY tasks I will take on to get these in the mail: envelope liners? calligraphy?

My fiance spoils me

2009-05-04T14:10:00.004-05:00

I just got back from lunch and these beauties (courtesy of the fiance) were waiting for me. Beautiful. I am so lucky to have such a sweet and thoughtful future husband :)

Gah! I bought my dress

2009-05-02T21:27:00.004-05:00

I bought my dress this afternoon after four hours in the biggest bridal shop that I have ever seen and I have already fallen out of love with it and back in love with it in the five hours since! Did you have bridal dress buyer's remorse? Is this normal?

Invitation Redux

2009-04-30T09:37:00.010-05:00

We still have not ordered our invitations. Why? Because I am indecisive and we'll make a decision and the next morning I wake up less than enthusiastic about it. I know, its just a piece of paper people will throw away. But, I want it to be pretty. We already decided that we don't need a reception card--we are just going to put "reception to follow" on the invitation. Information and directions are on our website and we'll probably also add directions from the Church to the reception location in the program for good measure. Last night I think we decided to skip the response card as well and just advise people to "kindly reply" online at our website. This will save us money and allow us to get the very pretty invitations I have wanted all along. And it's good for the environment becuase we are using less paper that will just be discarded. Thoughts? Is the concept of sending invitations with no (zip, zero, zilch) enclosures insane?! Have we lost our mind?

P.S. I promise that my next invitation post will be titled "Invitations: Ordered!" (because otherwise I think I may have a very grouchy fiance on my hands--even his patience must wear thin at some point)

Nifty Wedding Gift

2009-04-30T09:28:00.004-05:00

Oooh - just saw this on Green Wedding Shoes. What a great wedding gift these would make. I like this serving bowl (and the dessert sets are pretty neat, too!)

* Photo from Jessica Rust Designs

Bridesmaid Dress

2009-04-29T09:34:00.002-05:00

Still trying to decide on Bridesmaid dresses.

This should be good for a laugh

2009-04-28T10:00:00.003-05:00

Or maybe I'm the only one who finds it funny. The fiance started a wiki for us (using PBwiki) to organize our world travel plans and ideas. We also started using it to organize our wedding to do list (does this make us REALLY BIG nerds?). It has worked really well to divide wedding task responsibility and maintain communication over the distance. Plus we see what the other has done and it keeps us motivated. So, I sent my sweetie an e-mail with some of the thoughts in my post yesterday. For some reason, despite reading this sentiment again and again, it finally sunk in: we need to stop obsessing about this being our "wedding." We just needed to let that go and plan a party--except with a lot more guests and a big poofy white dress (okay, maybe not big and poofy). This thought was like an epiphany to me. I have been trying to figure out how to do "weddingy" stuff, but in our own unique way. Whatever that means!! It is so much easier to just drop the pressure, stress, and associations that come when you use the word "wedding" (even when you are just talking to yourself). Anyway, the fiance was totally on board with this and even added a "mission statement" to our wiki page with our wedding to do list. He made up this slogan for us: "Ask yourself WWWRND ("What Would We Really Normally Do?")." And that folks, I think is good for a laugh! (Or maybe you are just laughing because we use a wiki to track our wedding to do list).

Love and Weddings

2009-04-27T11:22:00.005-05:00

I apologize for my lack of posting lately. It is a direct result of trying to be more focused at work and spending less time reading blogs, finding inspiration, and posting about my thoughts. My evenings have also been more busy because I am trying to get into some kind of work out routine. It's also because we haven't made very many wedding decisions lately--we picked out our invitations (the ones via Paper Source I discussed below), but still no dress or bridesmaid dresses. And, it's also because, in light of my friends' sad tragedy, it has been difficult to get excited about the superficial details. Let's face it, I haven't been much into the details to begin with (see, e.g., the steak knives) and now they just seem to pale in comparison to the really important stuff--love, family, and friends. I feel indulgent and shallow spending time and energy on what is, at the end of the day, a party for me (and my beloved). Then I rationalize: a wedding is important (eloping has never been a serious option for us because (a) getting married in a Church is important to me, (b) community is an important part of a marriage--through marriage we assume a different status in our community and ask our community to support us on our marraige journey, and (c) celebrating life and love is a really good thing) and there are decisions that need to be made, even if they are superficial, because people need to eat and they need to drink and they need to have somewhere to sit or stand... and the list goes on. So, there we are. We are getting married. We are having a wedding. And we need to figure out the "stuff." Meg wrote a great post the other day on details. She said that if "we strive to create a wedding that reflects who we are and what we value, we will, without trying, create details that will form an indelible impression in our guests minds, details that will be a gift." Great!* But how do I figure out who we are and what we value? It just doesn't seem so simple. I cannot for the life of me figure out what "details" we have inadvertantly created. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. As a hostess I go WAY WAY overboard (I have admitted to being a perfectionist before, right?). And we simply cannot afford go overboard for our wedding (not enough time or money or energy). So, it is nearly impossible to reflect my (and our) method of entertaining--too much yummy homemade food and beverages--at our wedding. Or can we....

* And I really do mean great despite my subsequent whining. Meg's posts are insightful and honest and I totally agree with the sentiment and the concept, but just needed to voice my frustration in the context of my (our) individual journey to create a wedding that... feels good to us in spite of it being a giant money pit

Sweet Snacks

2009-04-21T10:48:00.006-05:00

My wedding is less than five months away. Eek!! My to do list is huge! I am planning to head to Chicago over Memorial Day weekend and stay through Wednesday to get some wedding stuff done. We have schedule our tasting and will, hopefully, pick out a bakery to order our desserts from. Our plan is to NOT have a giant wedding cake, but a variety of cakes and other sweets. At one time I thought that I could make these (along with some assistance from family and friends) and while I haven't ruled that option out yet, I feel like there will be enough things to do as the wedding approaches. Especially because, ahem, I don't even have a dress yet!

* Photo from Alliance Bakery

Reasons why families are important...

2009-04-20T13:52:00.004-05:00

My friends lost their dear sweet baby boy this weekend. Today, my thoughts and prayers are with them and their families. If you are reading this, please say a little prayer for them or just send some good thoughts their way.

Back to Wedding Thoughts

2009-04-16T10:34:00.004-05:00

After spending a couple days contemplating this new decision/ opportunity, I am trying to re-focus on the wedding planning. The wedding is more imminent than any traveling we decide to do and desperately requires my attention (and me to make some decisions!). While in Chicago for Easter this past weekend I tried on a dress that I thought might be the one, but even on a second look it still wasn't "right," so we're back to the drawing board on that front.

We also visited Paper Source (my first time ever-gasp!, I know). I think we are going the Paper Source route and getting our invitations letterpressed and our response cards flat printed. This seemed like the most economical compromise for us and I really like how you can customize everything, but keep consistent shades and colors. We are deciding between two options:

This invitation (in dark blue, I forget the exact color name):

Colonial Stencil Invitation

Or just going with plain lettering (no design) and adding a stamp. Here are a couple that I found at Terbearco's shop on Etsy that could work:

Thinking on it...

2009-04-13T11:00:00.004-05:00

From here

As it turns out, I will not be starting my new job in October or November, but in January or March... or next fall (with a paid stipend). So, what do I do? This decision seems so full of opportunity and possibility and it scares me. It's also frustrating because it delays our plan to get married and begin our new settled married life together. Today wedding planning is being shoved to the backburner and I am working and creating a wish list of things I would like to do with this time off. If you had the opportunity to make a small, but manageable salary (without going to work) for six months or a year, how would you use that time?

Yes, please!!

2009-04-11T09:00:00.000-05:00

Image from here via A Cup of Jo

So, did I mention that we are planning to stop in the South of France on our honeymoon. And paddling in the Dordogne looks like it might be a must-do activity.

Seriously!?

2009-04-10T10:00:00.003-05:00

photo by darwin bell via mint

I definitely want paper lanterns for our reception--hanging from the porch and maybe also from the trees; probably in white maybe in pale green. So, when I saw that Luna Bazaar is offering Mint readers 20% off, I figured I should head over there and complete my lantern purchase. I mean, I am desperate for things I can actually GET DONE. But then I realized that I had no idea what size or type I needed. And because I live oh 500 miles from my reception location, I can't just pop over and check it out and measure the space between the columns or stare at the trees and figure out whether I want lanterns to hang from the trees and, if so, how many. Do I want simple ("no frills") ones or fancier ones? What's the difference? Do I want plain white or a mix of white and green? Or white, green, and blue? Seriously!? Is it really this hard to pick out lanterns? One more thing not checked off the list. (But, hey, at least I know where I'm ordering them from--that's progress, right?)

P.S. Are you using paper lanterns? What size? What type? Does it matter?

Bridal Shower

2009-04-09T14:10:00.009-05:00

from here

So, my sisters (my two Maids of Honor) are getting together this weekend and are planning my bridal shower. My sister sent me this question: what do you envision your shower to be like? Her suggestions were a quiant tea party, a spa gathering, a party at a chinese restaurant, a lingerie shower, a wine tasting. My answer: I have no frickin idea. What did you do for a shower? Or how was a shower that you attended and liked done?

Also, how did you handle inviting your fiance's family? Did you do a couple's shower? Did you have two showers? One for ladies and one with more family?

P.S. I know this picture has NOTHING to do with a bridal shower, but it is a bride (and her maids) ready for a (rain) shower, so I found it appropriate.

Bridesmaid Dress?

2009-04-09T10:10:00.001-05:00

Available at Anthropologie

For $310, this Unique Recycled Vintage Wedding Dress could be yours!

2009-04-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

Lulu Dress by Hay-Lo Designs

I think this dress is fantastic and would have purchased it and been done with my wedding dress shopping, except -- it's an empire-waist which doesn't do much for my hourglass figure and I am not sure I want to go the strapless route. But, I think that it is beautiful and the flowing skirt is "both romantic and fun." This dress fits like an 8 (36-29-full). Hay-lo is offering 60% off until April 30th, so go check it out!

Reading Wedding Blogs may Improve your Work Productivity!

2009-04-06T11:34:00.002-05:00

I know I am not the only one who feels... guilty... for spending time reading wedding blogs while I should be working. That's why I had to post a link to One Barefoot Bride's post on an Austrailian University study that concludes that Workplace Internet Leisure Browsing ("WILB") may actually increase productivity!! So, here's to guilt-free blog-reading (at least if you keep it to 20% or less of your workday).

Flowers Beautiful

2009-04-06T11:24:00.003-05:00

Beautiful bouquet by Flower Wild

A beautiful flower bouquet by Flower Wild in honor of the beautiful flowers my sweetie dropped off on his way out of town this weekend. We did not get much wedding stuff done this visit, just tried to enjoy each other and get used to seeing each other for more than two days at a time. This week it's back to normal.

I heart this table

2009-04-03T10:14:00.005-05:00

Lisel of the Jewels of New York's table via Design*Sponge by Lorimer Workshop

Honeymoon II

2009-04-03T09:33:00.002-05:00

After doing further research, we realized that, indeed, going to Thailand for our honeymoon would put us smack-dab in the middle of monsoon season. Thus, we decided that perhaps we should do that trip when the weather was cooperating. As a result, we are now planning to go to Europe for our honeymoon. I know this doesn't narrow things down much. We are thinking perhaps going to the South of France, Italy, and then sailing around Croatia or Greece. If we focus more on Eastern Europe, we figure we can save some money. The picture above is from Cinque Terre in Italy--isn't it beautiful. I think this is a definite stop on our honeymoon, we just aren't sure how much time we'll be spending there. A night? A week? It's so hard to decide whether to plan a leisurely trip (spending a week somewhere and doing day trips from that spot and then moving on) or to do a more touristy approach and just spend a night or two in each spot.

Thursday is Here

2009-04-02T10:12:00.003-05:00

I apologize for the lack of interesting or informative posts this week. My honey has been in town visiting (yay!), so we have been playing and relaxing and trying not to make ourselves crazy doing wedding stuff. That, plus I feel like I am stuck. I have three major items on my to do list right now, which despite spending hours on the internet and looking at zillions of options, I haven't been able to decide on: (1) a wedding gown and (2) invitations. That and we need to book our caterer (which I have just been avoiding because... gulp... they are so darn expensive and I keep hoping that I will have an epiphany or a little elf will whisper a wonderful cost-saving idea into my ear before we sign on the dotted line, alas, that hasn't happened yet). So, because I have just been spinning my wheels on the same things (and been distracted by my honey), my posting has been a little lackluster.

I heart this dress

2009-04-01T12:09:00.001-05:00

by Elizabeth Dye via {frolic!}

Invitation Thought for my Honey

2009-03-31T10:42:00.006-05:00

Honey, I think that you should head over to YeeHaw, a letterpress studio in Knoxville, TN that does wedding invitations. According to Good Mouse, Bad Mouse, they "love thowing things together for cheap." And, in case you needed further encouragement to check them out, I know you will love them because they made this sign:

By YeeHaw Industrial Letterpress via Good Mouse, Bad Mouse

P.S. Zombies are not a phenomena that particularly interests me, but they tickle/amuse/intrigue my honey. I must admit that part of what I like about our relationship is that I am able to enjoy or appreciate things in which I have no real interest merely because they mean something to him. That is, that in our sharing a life, I get to share in his quirky interests. And that just makes life more fun! I am the serious part of our relationship (although he does tend to wax philosophical from time to time) and I love that he embraces the whimsical and ridiculous in life. We help create balance for each other and, hopeful, in our life that we will build.

No Dress... Yet

2009-03-30T10:13:00.002-05:00

So, I didn't find a dress that I fell in love with on our visit to the vintage store this weekend, but my girlfriend who accompanied me, who isn't even engaged (or planning to be soon), did! It is certainly a gem of a store and I plan to go back soon, wedding dress or not :)

Wedding Dress Shopping

2009-03-27T14:02:00.002-05:00

This weekend, I am going to the vintage store where she got her wedding dress. Wish me luck!

An Award for Me?

2009-03-25T22:56:00.015-05:00

I received an award from One Barefoot Bride and I am so so touched! When I began planning my wedding, I didn't really know where to start, what to do, or how to process all the information and messages I had absorbed about weddings my entire life. Then I found this wonderful community of women on the web who seemed a lot like me, except smarter and with so much to share. Because I value the wisdom and information these women shared with me, I thought I should give back to the community that has given me so much. So, I started this little blog to post my thoughts and ideas and to post my inspiration for my wedding in the hopes that it might help other brides the way these blogs have helped me. But, I didn't really expect that in such a short time I would earn such a touching recognition from a fellow blogger for my efforts. So, thank you, thank you One Barefoot Bride! I am so grateful to you and all my readers that you actually stop by to read what I have to say from time to time.

I am changing the rules for this award. Why? Well, because I got this award for having ATTITUDE and I decided to pass it along with some changes. So, I am nominating blogs that have ATTITUDE or for which I am GRATEFUL. If you are a recipient of this award, I hope that you will enjoy it and, only if you would like to share the blog-love that you:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs who show great ATTITUDE and /or GRATITUDE and

3. Be sure to link to your nominees in your post

4. Let them know they've received this award by commenting on their blog

5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received the award

And without further ado (okay, there was a lot of ado), here are my nominees:

A Practical Wedding: I have said this before, but it bears repeating, I LOVE Meg's blog and the community of women that I have found through it. Her thoughts are always so timely (like, telling me not to stress about my budget when that is the worry that is foremost on my mind) and poignant. Time after time, the real weddings she shares make me sigh or even cry a little and are an endless source of inspiration for how I want my wedding to feel--real and like us.

2000 Dollar Wedding: I love Sara's down to earth approach to weddings and marriage. She and Matt pulled off a wonderful celebration of love that was focused on exactly what was important. And, now that their wedding is over, she continues to field questions and update her blog, so that all of us have a place to go when we need advice about living and loving out of our values and without breaking the bank.

Darling Dexter: Whitney has sass, style, and skills! Oh, and she threw a wonderful, beautiful, amazing wedding complete with handmaid dresses and self-designed... well, almost everything. I admire her openness in sharing her endeavors--sewing, moving, starting school--and thoughts on how to live. And she is a constant source of inspiration--if I want to see something amazing, her blog is the first place I check.

A $10,000 Wedding: I am not sure that I have anything much to say about this one other than she has ATTITUDE, so go check it out! And she has a $10,000 budget. And she shares her ideas and creative solutions for doing just about everything at her wedding. And she manages to keep a sense of humor through it all.

Peonies and Polaroids: She started her own etsy store to sell her beautiful photography and demonstrated such tenacity and courage in doing so. I don't know what demonstrates attitude, if that doesn't. Plus, she also had a absolutely beautiful beautiful wedding that makes me want to scrap my plans and run over to Europe and to get hitched. Oh, and I love reading her prose--stories that just sound so beautiful and make me imagine that I am curled up with some tea in my favorite chair each time she shares one.

And a couple of honorary nominations--

NieNie Dialogues: Reading this helps me remember what is really important. And its not the wedding. It is the marriage that we are committing to build that will provide a foundation of love and support for each other and our family.

A blog that shall not be named (why? becuase its private): My friends with whom I am out of touch use their blog to update friends and family on their growing family. I also like reading this because it reminds me of what I want to get out of our marriage and I love hearing about how they deal with life with two little boys.

Whew! I know that's not ten, but I think this blog post has taken on a life of its own, so I should end it now.

Finding Balance

2009-03-25T10:41:00.005-05:00

Woman Holding a Balance by Jan Vermeer found here

As you may have guessed from the title of this blog, I aspire to live my life mindfully. To me, that means making decisions consciously and being present to enjoy life. I have found that terrifically hard to do in my present circumstances. Planning a wedding makes it difficult to live in the present because so much time and energy gets sucked into planning one day in the future. There is also the mental, emotional, and spirtual preparation my fiance and I have engaged in to prepare ourselves for married life. There is also the temporariness of my job, friends, and living situation because I am only here in Memphis for a year. This makes this year feel even more like a time of transition instead of my actual settled life. This feeling is only compounded by living in a transient place while planning a wedding. And, on top of that, my love is many many miles away. Sometimes I do believe the old adage that "home is where the heart is" and my heart lives no where near my home. It is difficult having such an important part of my life not actually present in my life. It makes it very easy to be disconnected from my present circumstance and to discount all the experiences that I am enjoying now because I am so busy preparing for my wedding, my marriage, and being together with my fiance. I am just waiting and preparing but not necessarily living. Or perhaps that is wrong, perhaps I need to appreciate that some periods in life are about waiting and preparing and that that doesn't make them any less your life. After reading Whitney of Darling Dexter's Contemplation Series: Step Away from the Computer, I realized that I was also seeking balance. Balance between the present and the future. Balance between missing my fiance and enjoying my single life in Memphis. Have you gotten caught in this trap while planning your wedding? How have you dealt with it successfully?

Next Vendor: Day of Coordinator

2009-03-24T11:21:00.003-05:00

So, of all the decisions that we have made about our wedding, the one that I feel most confident about is our choice of Day of Coordinator. We are using Kate Z. from Dettagli Weddings. We met with three different wedding coordinators (two specifically for DOC services) and Dettagli's prices were in the middle of what we considered. Katie, the owner, has been very professional, accomodating (i.e., she drove half an hour outside the city to meet with us), and responsive. Because I am not in Chicago, we haven't met with our actual DOC in person, but we did speak to her for about an hour and a half on the phone. And it was the first time that I felt really excited about the wedding; like, hey someone gets what we want to do and thinks we can actually make it happen. We are very excited and glad that we decided to cut back elsewhere in order to afford to put someone else in charge on our wedding day so that we (and our families) can truly appreciate all our hard work and effort (and money spent) and be truly present at our wedding.

Save the Dates

2009-03-23T11:16:00.004-05:00

Our Save the Dates are here and I spent a portion of Sunday addressing them. I am pretty happy with how they turned out (sorry for the poor picture quality). We ended up using VistaPrints and I think the total cost is right around $50 including postage. Our engagement photos and the design were free and loving provided by one of our best men (you can see more cute pictures of us on his website). We ended up using a VistaPrint special for 100 FREE standard-sized postcards. Uploading, proofs, and shipping came to $26. Then, I spent another $27 on postcard stamps.

I think the quality is pretty good. There is a streak towards the right-hand side, but it isn't very obvious. The process was very easy--VistaPrints provides templates so you know what size to design your own postcard, then you just upload it. The only downside is all the spam that I get from them, but since we got a pretty good deal on our Save the Dates, I am not complaining.

Now, I just hope that the recipients enjoy them as much as we do :)

No post AGAIN today

2009-03-20T13:33:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts. Work has been busy and I feel a bit whiny after looking at our budget again and realizing how much it will cost. And, well, I just feel like if its going to cost that much it should be perfect. And it won't be; it will just be good enough for us. Happy Friday. I hope everyone is enjoying some nice Spring-like weather.

Colors

2009-03-18T10:02:00.003-05:00

Image by Anna Kuperburg via A Practical Wedding via One Barefoot Bride

I am in a bit of a quandry over our colors. Not that I feel the need to have a matchy-matchy wedding, just that a color scheme helps unify everything so it looks pretty and coherent. We had been planning to do white and apple green with bridesmaids in Navy. My mom is convinced that I should have blue hydrangeas in my bouquet. Which would work--bridesmaids in blue with white and green bouquets and me in white with a blue and white bouquet. But then I see bouquets like the one pictured here and just fall in love. It is so beautiful. Am I limiting myself with such muted colors? Should I not take advantage of the beautiful flowers in bright colors? Unfortunately, I don't really have a good eye to be able to figure out a palette that works together without limiting myself to specific colors. Sigh. I think this is one of those things I don't have to decide quite yet.

Bonus St. Patrick's Day Post

2009-03-17T14:40:00.002-05:00

Aww... I just got a no-reason-except-I-love-you present from my sweetie. Pretty greeen earrings appropriate for St. Patrick's Day and to celebrate 180 days until we are wed along with a lovely card. I am truly a lucky girl with a wonderful fiance.

Reception Venue

2009-03-17T10:00:00.004-05:00

Image from here

Our reception venue is Historic Pleasant Home (also known as the John Farson House) is located in Oak Park Illinois. We were deperate to avoid a traditional ballroom and really liked that this location has beautiful outdoor space--it is located adjacent to a park. This was also the perfect space for several other reasons:

* It was also more affordable than most other venues that we considered.

* It was available! (We only had eleven months to plan our wedding, so availability was a major factor for us.)

* It's about a seven-minute drive from our Church.

* It's within walking distance of a reasonably priced hotel, which means that we can save money on transporting guests to the reception location and that our guests aren't required to pay a lot on a hotel room to attend our wedding.

* There is a CTA ("L") and Metra stop within a block of the hotel, so guests can easily head downtown to explore Chicago in about twenty minutes. (And they can take public transportation from the airport, saving on car rental.)

* There are shops and restaurants located nearby.

The only drawback of the space is that, not being a traditional ballroom, there isn't one localized place for gathering. We will have to get creative. If the weather is nice, we are hoping to take advantage of the outdoor space. So, that's our venue. It seems like such a perfect choice now, but it still took many weeks (or was it months?) for us to finalize our decision. And I think my mother is still convinced that it would be better, cheaper, and easier if we had just picked a ballroom ;) Oh well, you can't please everyone. So, I suppose if we can't find a caterer we can always make it a picnic reception at the last minute. Always, like to have a back-up plan.

When we fight with the one we love

2009-03-16T10:00:00.002-05:00

This is a picture of my honey over Thanksgiving--as you can tell, he was dressed for dinner but still downstairs hanging out playing video games with the kids. I love this picture. My sweetheart is not perfect (thank God!). He is a kid at heart, which means that he is fun and sweet and loving and trusting. But, he can also be, err... irresponsible. So, when I ask him to do wedding-related stuff, sometimes it doesn't get done on time without me checking in a couple times. Which is, annoying. Anyway, this combined with long distance and stress I've been under at work led to a pretty nasty fight on Saturday. Not fun. But, in the end we were able to talk about things that had been bothering us, so we, at least, got something productive out of it. I know that getting married will not fix any of the issues we have now and that we will have a whole new set of difficulties to deal with when we actually see each other every day. It's something we look forward to now, but my sweetie likes to tease that it won't take long before we are sick of each other and desperately trying to find out what happened to our alone time. I know we'll be okay if I keep in mind that what I love most about my future husband is also what drives me the most crazy. Oh! And to remember not to sweat the small stuff (and that it's mostly small stuff).

Productive Weekend

2009-03-15T18:36:00.000-05:00

Well, we spent some time this weekend working on wedding stuff and managed to:

1) Finish up our Save the Date design and order them
2) Launch our Wedding Website
3) Register for our pre-Cana class
4) Send off our contract for Entertainment

Yay! We actually got something done. And we also picked out an invitation, until I changed my mind. The good news is that we are making progress, so I will count this as a successful weekend.

Food

2009-03-13T15:07:00.007-05:00

So, as I mentioned before, we still don't have a caterer (e.g., food, or tables and chairs, or glasses, or linens) for our wedding and we only have six months to go. We have had a comedy of errors in picking a venue and caterer that all stemmed from our burgeoning guest list. Apparently, many caterers who will cater events with 100-125 people will not cater events of 175-200 people. But, I talked to a new caterer yesterday and they seemed very nice. Although, I haven't received a proposal yet (over 24 hours later), so I hope I haven't scared her away with my desperation (ohmigosh i don't have a caterer! i need food! but we are working on a budget! please help! and make it cheap!). Oh well! I am keeping my fingers crossed hoping this will work out and we will have a caterer and I will feel much less stressed (well that and once we send out our Save the Dates and I find a dress and ....). At least it will be one more (big) item off the list. Plus, since this is our single biggest expense, I am hoping that after we see the damage, acknowledge it, sign for it, and pay a deposit I will be able to feel less bad about how much this is all costing (see, it's done, can't do anything about it).

Image from here.

What does it mean to be a "wife"?

2009-03-12T10:06:00.003-05:00

So, one of the hardest things for me in contemplating the fact that I will be married in six months is the idea of becoming a "wife." I will be someone's wife. Being a sister or a daughter hasn't felt like such a defining label. I couldn't imagine being anyone's wife but my sweetie's, but still. In part its that getting married involves giving up your independence, something that I have always cherished (if you talk to my parents they will tell you that I tried to win my independence from them way before my time). I am looking forward to all the positives of being married. For us that includes seeing each other every day. I really hope that we aren't approaching this whole married things with rose-colored glasses. We acknowledge, for example, that being around each other much more than we have become accustomed to seeing each other will (at times) drive both of us a little crazy. But I still am struggling with the idea of becoming a wife--a new and scary creature. Part of me recognizes that this is silly. That I will still be me and that my honey will still be my honey after the wedding. Perhaps it's that I feel like being a wife involves more responsibility, which I don't quite feel up to. Perhaps it's the perfectionist in me that knows that despite how hard I try, I will fail from time to time to be a "good wife," whatever that means and that is scared at failing. Maybe I just need to come up with a new word instead of wife that I might be more comfortable with... any thoughts on what that might be?

6 months to go...

2009-03-12T09:53:00.002-05:00

Image courtesy of Matthew Michael Photography

Our wedding is in 6 months from today! And boy are we behind. We don't have a caterer yet and I don't have a dress yet and we haven't even sent out our Save the Dates. What to do, what to do? Take a deep breath and realize that it will all be okay and that we will figure all these little details out. The important thing is that we have a venue and a priest, so I'm pretty sure that at the very least we will be getting married that day.

Wow!

2009-03-11T11:00:00.006-05:00

I have been having the hardest time picking out invitations that I adore. Most I find are fine and will get the job done. But, I haven't found any that I was head over heels about until I checked out Printable Press that Meg posted about today. Kimi's designs are AMAZING! And because I couldn't pick just one, here are my favorites (so far):

All images from Printable Press

Honeymoon

2009-03-10T10:33:00.007-05:00

So, for our honeymoon, we are debating between Thailand and Europe. In Europe we would fly into Paris, then head to the South of France, over to Italy and then take a sailing trip around Greece. We are planning on going for three to four weeks because we will both be in between jobs and we figure that we should take advantage of the time off.

Europe: I have been advocating for Europe because I have never been (okay, I have but I was a baby and I don't remember so it doesn't count) and I have always imagined my honeymoon being the opportunity to travel in Europe for a while.

Thailand: My honey is advocating for this one because it is beautiful, cheap, and exotic. Plus, it makes sense to use a long vacation to go to a location that is more difficult to get to. We could always go to Europe for a week-long vacation, but that would be much harder with Thailand. And it is awfully picturesque:

And, while we are there, we can take a side trip to Cambodia, which is also pretty awesome.

So, I think we are leaning towards Thailand. I think I am persuaded that it will be cheaper (and I am the money worrier), so since we've decided to take such a long vacation going somewhere further away and less expensive makes more sense. Anyone have any thoughts on this one?

Love

2009-03-09T09:43:00.003-05:00

Image by Heather of We Met in a Bar

I know that we are way past Valentine's Day, but I had the opportunity to reflect a little bit on love this past weekend. It was the first time I had seen my honey since Valentine's Day weekend. We have only been able to see each other one weekend every three weeks since the New Year and it's just plain difficult. It always takes a while to build intimacy and get used to the fact that we are actually together. And sometimes it feels like as soon as we get to that happy comfortable place it's time to leave again. Which brings me to my reflection on love. I have this preconcieved notion that because we don't see each other very often, when we do, we should act and feel very intensely in love. Like I should always want to be smooching him or staring dreamily into his eyes. And I don't. Sometimes I just feel comfortable like the way you felt cuddled up with your blankey. It's just the comfort of spending time with my best friend. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of smooching. I just mean that I enjoy our time together the most when I am not pressuring myself to feel or act like a star-crossed lover. Perhaps none of this is surprising in any way to anyone reading this. But for me it's an adjustment--loving in a peaceful comfortable way instead of an intense all-consuming way. And accepting that even though I don't feel intensely in love with my fiance all the time, that doesn't mean we need to re-examine our decision to get married. At least someone else agrees with me:

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. "
-- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Alternative to a White Dress

2009-03-06T09:46:00.006-06:00

Image by Alisha & Brook Photographers via Snippet & Ink via Sparkliatti

If I wasn't planning to wear a white dress at my wedding, I would want to wear this stunning green dress. Hands down. No questions asked. It is simply the most beautiful dress I have seen a bride wear (perhaps this is because I am partial to green).

Alternative to a Wedding Album

2009-03-04T22:12:00.004-06:00

Images from Good Stcok Press & Bindery

How cute are these photo accordian books by Good Stock? I think I would much prefer to give these to our families instead of the traditional wedding albums. What are you doing for wedding albums?

Peonies & Polariods' Etsy Shop

2009-03-04T13:52:00.005-06:00

Image by Peonies

Peonies new Etsy shop is open (yay!) and you can purchase a beautiful print like this one. You can also win a free print if you leave a comment here by Saturday the 7th.

Reception Decoration Ideas

2009-03-03T10:07:00.002-06:00

Some pretty pictures I have been collecting for wedding reception inspiration. Unfortunately, I don't have the source for many of these (if you know it, let me know so that I can add it).

Photo by Max Wangner

via We Met in a Bar via Lucky Me

Vendor #2: Photographers

2009-03-02T10:00:00.002-06:00

Image courtesy of Cathy & David Photographers

We are so excited about Cathy & David Photographers, our wedding photographers. I love the expression and emotion they captured in this photo. They are actually based in Indiana, but have an incredibly reasonable travel fee. They have been so responsive and flexible. We are so very excited about working with them on our wedding day. I would encourage brides to look outside of their market for wedding photographers. We were able to find a wonderful photographer who offered what we were looking for at a reasonable price and who was available by not constraining ourselves to a Chicago-based photographer (although there are also many wonderful Chicago-based wedding photographers).

Thanks to a Talented Friend

2009-03-01T21:24:00.007-06:00

One of our best men in our wedding (yes, there are two) is also a very talented photographer and graphic designer. He is a part-time wedding photographer in the Nashville area and graciously took some engagement photos of us over New Year's. He has also been designing (and re-designing) our Save the Dates. Apparently, while I do not care about the steak knives, I do care about the Save the Dates. Who knew. Here are a couple designs he has done for us and they are just awesome. I am so lucky that such a talented individual has been willing to spend his time designing these for us for free. It is so much fun to pick out pretty designs without having to check the what they cost before you fall in love with them. I actually think we are leaning towards another design that I don't have a jpeg of. But they are all so great, I just can't decide. Please leave me a comment and let me know which one is your favorite!

Favor Idea

2009-02-28T15:00:00.000-06:00

Image by Brooke Reynolds via inchmark

These would make such cute favors. Make using instructions from Brooke here. The favor options we are considering now are: none, seed packets, or to-go bags for a cookie bar. I think I am okay without favors. The fiance favors the sentiment behind giving seeds that people could go home and plant. I think this could be cute and economical; perhaps I need to start looking for cute seed packet design ideas. I don't think this idea could work for those. As far as to-go bags are concerned, I was just planning on a stamping some brown paper bags. Hmmm.... what about velum for the seed packets?

Hmmm... to DIY or purchase?

2009-02-27T13:15:00.002-06:00

I love this chalkboard that I found on Etsy. I was thinking about doing this myself. Although I haven't found an awesome old frame to use. And this one is green, which matches my wedding colors. Hmm... I'll have to think about it.

No post today

2009-02-26T09:46:00.006-06:00

No post today, because I am running behind here at work, but here are a couple of our engagement photos for your Thursday.

Wedding Ceremony

2009-02-25T11:06:00.002-06:00

Image from 2000dollarwedding.com

Because we are getting married in the Catholic Church, we don't get the freedom to come up with our own vows or wedding traditions. I am a little jealous when I see people come up with such meaningful new traditions, like Sara and Matt did (love their wedding quilt--pictured--made from pieces of fabric donated by friends and family). We are stuck with a pretty traditional service--we got a little book with our choices of readings. And we are not necessarily excited with our options. I think we can pick some other bible readings, so if you have any suggestions for something you found that isn't in the Catholic church's booklet, please let me know. On the plus side, it is one aspect of the wedding that is pretty much set (as in, I don't feel any pressure to come up with creative ways to express our love for each other, because, really, I don't think I could do it--how do you meaningfully articulate that feeling and commitment you are undertaking?)

I also don't think we have much freedom to write our own vows. I asked my fiance about it and his opinion was that he was okay with traditional vows. I am too. While we could draft something more personal, I don't think that you can really improve upon the sentiment in traditional vows--for better and for worse, in sickness, and in health--pretty much sums up the commitment we are making to each other. Faith explainedit well here: she and her fiance chose to "stick with the short simple, and old-fashioned words in our ceremony. We wanted to be connected to the longstanding supports of tradition, community, and strength we have available in our personal faiths." I agree. As an alternative, I was thinking that perhaps we could toast each other at the reception as a way to share our more personal feelings about each other and our marriage. Has anyone been to a wedding where a bride and groom have done that? Do you think it would be too much talking (and not enough eating and dancing) when combined with the other toasts?

The Economy, Relationships, and Two Careers

2009-02-24T09:34:00.001-06:00

Image source: http://trainscorner.com/

Yesterday Meg posted about the economic problems and weddings (and then posted this great comment later) and I mentioned a bit about how the economy is affecting my fiance and my decision about where we will start our married life. So, I thought I would write a bit more on the subject, because it is one that I think affects many relationships. Job decisions are difficult when they affect one person--you. They are even more difficult when they affect more than just you--you, your spouse and, if applicable, your children. Growing up as a military brat, I experienced this first hand. By the time I got to ninth grade, I had attended five schools in five years. My girlfriend (and BM) is currently in Munich, (which I think is awsome--see the picture) because of her husband's job. But finding work has not been easy and a recent law school grad, she has been frustrated by the career sacrifice.

We have decided that my fiance will leave his job working with his parents to join me in DC next year, so I can accept my better-paying job offer. In better economic times, we had thought that I would be able to get a job where he is working so that he could continue to take advantage of a unique career opportunity that also allowed him to be close to his family. That has not turned out to be the case. So, he is taking a leap of faith and sacrificing his career opportunity in the hope that he will be able to find something challenging and worthwhile. I know that we are the lucky ones, because so many are suffering so much more than us from the economic downturn. But, it is difficult to have to decide how to prioritize two careers. It puts a burden on both parties. We have tried very hard to recognize that this is a decision we are making together because it is the best for us as a couple, but its not always easy when the decision appears to benefit one of us more than the other. When we met with our priest on Valentine's day he said, "compromise is not always 50/50." How true!!

I do believe in my heart of hearts that everything happens for a reason. And that we will make the best of this opportunity and that, hopefully, it will open up doors to opportunities we could not have imagined or planned for. Marriage is scary. It requires a tremendous amount of faith to say, no matter what happens, we are going to do it together. But, I also hope that together we will have the the courage to take risks and take advantage of opportunities that come our way even if they come from the most unlikely sources. I wish each of you the best and my thoughts and prayers are with you as you deal with whatever impact the economy has on your relationship and as you contemplate the enormity of tying your life to another's.

Reason #1 Why I am a "Bad" Bride: I just don't care about the steak knives

2009-02-23T09:16:00.004-06:00

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while and decided to go ahead and write it after reading Sara's post today. I met with a day of coordinator the other day who told me how the better she knows us and our wedding, the more she can help us make sure the day goes as we planned. (Sounds reasonable, so far.) The example she proceeded to tell us was about a bride who hated the steak knives at the hotel where they were having the reception. So, when the caterer ran out of steak knives and the hotel volunteered to provide some of there's, the DOC could say that was not a good solution. (How they resolved this problem, I don't know.) I just didn't get it. I couldn't care less what our steak knives look like. (In fact, I am not even going to have steak knives!) I left the meeting and asked my fiance, "am I a bad bride because I just don't care about the steak knives?" He laughed and said "no" and, I suspect, he was thinking how grateful he was that I don't. But, nevertheless, I still felt like I wasn't as bride-y as I should be; that somehow the fact that I don't really care about these details is a "problem." Despite the wonderful support on the internet (see in particular here, here, and here), it's still hard not to succomb to the feeling that when you are a "bride" you are supposed to live for every detail of your wedding. This is just not true when there are so many more important things to be focused on, e.g., preparing for marriage. For us, we have been trying to decide where we will live and whether my career or his should take precedence (not something easy to negotiate and with potential long-lasting implications if not dealt with well). My fiance and I have jobs/ job offers in two different cities and after my failed attempt to get a job where he is now living and working, we have been dealing with what we should do. Should we move for my job? Where we will begin our life together as husband and wife just seems much more important than the steak knives or, really, any detail about our wedding.

So, thank you to all the wonderful future brides and past brides who blog about these things and help me feel normal for not obsessing on every detail of my wedding. In spite of your efforts, it's still not always easy, so I can only imagine how hard and terrifying this process would be without your support.

Image from www.ludwigshiffcutlery.com

Working on a Saturday: What happens when you read too many wedding blogs at work

2009-02-21T12:55:00.002-06:00

So, my wedding blog-addiction seems to have caught up with me because I am here at work on a rainy Saturday catching up on the work I didn't get done during the week. It's rainy and yucky outside today, so my office isn't the worst place to be, I suppose.

Gratitude

2009-02-20T18:10:00.004-06:00

Wedding planning seems to highlight a lot of my negative personality traits. For instance, my perfectionist streak is constantly finding fault and making it impossible to make decisions in case something better lies around the next, undiscovered bend. Yeep! In the past four months, I have found wedding planning to be a stressful and not altogether fun process. Which is frustrating. It's my wedding. I am in love. Isn't this SUPPOSED to be fun?! Well, sometimes it isn't. But one thing that I have found that seems to help me get a little bit more enjoyment out of it is practicing being grateful. When I see beautiful weddings that I cannot have because my budget isn't big enough or because there just isn't time or because I'm just not that crafty, I get frustrated. But then I try to be grateful for what I do have. A wonderful fiance (even though I don't get to smooch him as often as I'd like because he's many many miles away). A budget lovinlgy and generously provided by our parents. A job. My health. My family. Especially in light of the economic turmoil swirling around that seems as though it could swallow me up at any moment, these things are actually what matter most. The wedding, be it good, bad, or ugly, simply cannot compete in terms of what really matters. And then I feel all better (well, mostly). And realize that whatever I decide will be okay. Even if I don't come up with the cutest self-designed and lovingly made invitations ever :)

Image by Matthew Michael Photography

What's in a name?

2009-02-20T12:00:00.001-06:00

As a follow up to my earlier post on our ceremony location, I thought I'd mention a thought about the name of our Church. Our Lady of Sorrows does not exactly convey the joyousness of your wedding day. So, it did give us a moment of pause, but only a moment. The Church is beautiful, the congregation is welcoming, and our priest is great. My fiance's response when I asked him about it was that he could make a little comment about how getting married at Our Lady of Sorrows helps us to remember that, while today is a day of joy, we take each other in marriage to have and to hold in both times of joy and of sorrow. I think he meant it to be funny, but instead it's actually kind of sweet and true. In case you were curious, that's what we are taking away from the name of our Church.

Ceremony Location

2009-02-20T08:00:00.001-06:00

Image by Photographer Jeremy Atherton via http://www.ols-chicago.org/

[A little quirk I have noticed about myself is that I have trouble doing things out of order. This causes problems sometimes when I cannot get complete the first thing on a list, I accomplish nothing at all on that list because it is very difficult for me to skip over something and move on to the next one. Anyway, as a result of this quirk, I have started my more detailed posts on wedding decisions completed and in progress in order--starting with our ceremony location.]

We are having our ceremony at Our Lady of Sorrows Basilica in Chicago. It is beautiful as you can tell from the picture above and large (I think it can seat 900, so I am hoping our wedding doesn't look tiny in such a big space). I have to admit, I am a little in love with the long long aisle. If you are a Chicago bride looking for a Catholic church, I would recommend checking it out. They do very many weddings (I think because the location isn't exactly ideal) and are very accomodating when they do. The priest we are working with their is awesome. We had our first official meeting with him on Valentine's Day. We are very excited about our Ceremony location after my mini-panic attack when I first tried to find a Catholic Church in Chicago that wasn't booked over a year in advance.

Second Try's a Charm?

2009-02-19T10:50:00.000-06:00

I apologize for allowing my little blog here to languish without any new posts for over a month (not that I am apologizing to anyone but myself because I suspect I am the only way paying attention). But, nevertheless, I find other brides' blogs so useful and it is such a great way to keep track of whatever has tickled my fancy or sparked a thought for something that could work at our wedding. So, here goes my second try at blogging about my wedding-planning experience. Since I last updated this blog, we have made some fabulous progress on our wedding (though I suspect the knot would still label us as behind schedule).

I will post more details soon, but for now here is our DONE list:

Ceremony location
Reception venue
Photographer
Block of hotel rooms near the reception location reserved

Here are the next few items I think we will be completing soon:

Day of Coordinator
Band
Save the Dates
Wedding Website

Here are the things we need to do SOON SOON SOON, but are floundering with:

Wedding Dress!!!
Caterer

I will create some individual posts with more details on items that we have completed and are working on shortly. I hope that now that we are making forward progress, finding something to write about here (other than, I don't know what to do and cannot make a decision to save my life, eek!) will be a lot easier.

*image courtesy of etsy seller olivemac

Re-purposed and Re-tooled... or not?

2008-12-03T22:14:00.000-06:00

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and an opportunity to give thanks for all the small blessings in your life. I spent mine with over thirty members of my family. Which always makes for a good time with lots of good food.

My goal was to come back from vacation with a new sense of purpose and direction for our wedding. Sadly, this goal was not accomplished. It was probably too much to hope for given that I flew over a thousand miles and drove another seven hundred over five days.

I feel a little bit like I have been sent back to the drawing board as it seems that our wedding guest list is closer to 200 than 150 (and 150 is the maximum our original venue could hold without a tent). So, we are back to the initial question: where o' where shall we hold this shindig. I would love to have the outdoors as a backdrop, because I think it would give us the most flexibility to achieve the wedding we both want. And it is beautiful just as it is. But, we need a rain plan. And a facility that will let us stay past dark and bring booze. This has proved a challenge. It doesn't look like we have a family member (whom we could ask to provide a space without feeling as though we were imposing) with a large enough house.

Eek! I cannot wait for this part of planning to be over so we can move on the fun stuff!

I am a blog-addicted bride

2008-11-24T19:26:00.000-06:00

I have never really been that into computers. I don't really visit youtube and before becoming engaged didn't have a list of certain blogs that I follow. Now, I most definitely do. Some days it is because work can be really boring. Most days its the only way that I maintain any kind of perspective. These are the blogs that I follow for inspiration, ideas, and sanity:

(1) Meg at apracticalwedding.com is always so honest and makes you feel you have a good friend who is right by your side as you struggle through this craziness called planning a wedding. And trying to do it in a way that makes sense.

(2) Kathryn at Snippet & Ink who, as she advertises, provides daily inspiration. I haven't even looked at a bridal magazine in weeks.

(3) A ten thousand dollar wedding

(4) 2000 Dollar Wedding is a great resource for how a couple planned their day like they wanted on a very practical wedding by making every decision mindful of their goals. And, because our wedding is about what comes after--being married and making a life together, I enjoy her input on married life and just basically living mindfully.

And I owe all of these bloggers a big THANK YOU for helping me stay sane and be inspired.

This weekend I attempted a couple DIY projects--just making some prototypes. My perfectionist streak kicked in and I ended my weekend feeling kind of deflated. I think I've lost a little bit of purpose. Which sounds crazy--I'm only six weeks into wedding planning and I've already lost touch of my goals?!? Well, its just that picking a reception venue and beginning to interview caterers has left me realizing that there is just no way we can meet our target budget. Not without some serious re-thinking. We have tried thinking outside the box, but for various reasons (he wants dancing, his mother wants FOOD, we have many out-of-town guests, and we haven't figured out how to get our guest list below 125) that just isn't working for us. So, now we are spending more than we had originally planned and so I think I am feeling like a bit of a failure and can't quite see how my DIY projects fit in. We are planning to brainstorm this week while we are driving to and from Thanksgiving (6 hours each way). Now that we have more information about what to do. So, hopefully, post-vacation I will have a better idea of what we are doing and what I need to do next.

Sigh

2008-11-19T22:55:00.000-06:00

My fiance lives 571 miles away and I am planning a wedding 542 miles away from where I am right now. My fiance and I have been dating long distance for seven and a half months now and we have another nine to go. I like the fact that in planning a wedding we are also planning our lives together--where we will live (both where geographically and where specifically), what we will do, and all those little things that make up the every day. In the midst of planning the one day that marks the beginning of our lives as husband and wife we have tried to make an effort to discuss what comes next; the whole married part of getting married. Which is great and interesting and, I hope, helps open the lines of communication, so that they are well-trod familiar paths to us once we are actually married. And it makes the prospect of getting married and being married very very exciting--we will finally be together every day. Yay! But, I must admit that it is also hard and frustrating and sad. Some days it is just very sad. As in, I have found the love of my life and yet he is many miles away and when I am tired or sad I can't just lay my head on his shoulder and feel better just from his warm presence. Or make him laugh at my giddy silliness when I am happy. I know that couples have been separated for much longer and for much worse reasons. Everytime I start to feel too sorry for myself, I console myself thinking about how many other couples have suffered being apart except without the luxury of cell phones and e-mail and the other things that let us stay close despite the distance. Mostly, I just try to remain grateful that I have found someone so wonderful to spend my life with. He makes my days better even when he isn't physically present with me. And I am lucky, indeed, to have found that.

Ceremony Decorations

2008-11-12T22:29:00.000-06:00

The Church we have picked for our ceremony is absolutely breathtaking. Therefore, I don't think that we need much (if any) decorations. I am thinking about jumping on the bandwagon and doing these.

The photo source and directions can be found here.