On Budgets

There was a flurry of discussion a while ago about wedding budgets. I didn't chime in, but I am going to now. What I say may not be popular, but that isn't what this whole process is about -- it's about being you and being honest about that. Honestly, our wedding budget is way way higher than we intended it to be. Well, that's not entirely true. At a certain point we made a decision to have a wedding that cost more or less what we are spending. I actually didn't really want to know what it was costing--we've paid so much as we go (deposits, invitations, dress) that I sort of lost track and wasn't too upset about that. At this point we can't really change much, so what's the point. Sweetie, thinking the picture was better than it is put together a spreadsheet and now we know. It's a big number. Even though we are buying our own alcohol and doing our own flowers. It's a number that we could have done a lot of other things with. Do I regret it? No. Planning a wedding has meant a lot of things to me and for us as a couple. We have learned a lot about ourselves and our families; some good, some not so good. And while planning a wedding hasn't always been "fun" we have grown so much during this process. We have started to figure out who we are as a couple and how we as a couple relate to our friends and our families. We've seen how to press our families buttons (and, hopefully, we can translate this knowledge in the future into how not to press their buttons). I have learned a lot about myself and my fiance. And, I have to say what I have learned only makes me love him more. He is so loving and kind and supportive. He may be a pushover about somethings, but when people are hurting me, he is my champion. What a wonderful feeling. I trust him more now that we've gone through this. We feel more comfortable with each others strengths and weaknesses. My fiance will never be perfect and shame on me if I ever expect him to be; he wouldn't be very lovable if he were. I know that a party may not be worth what we are spending, but I certainly think that a solid marriage is. Could we have accomplished what we have and spent much less, absolutely! Each of our situations is different, and my sanity was certainly worth some portion of what we are spending. I am truly envious of all you brides who have thrifted and crafted and created a beautiful meaningful wedding at a fraction of the cost of ours. You have accomplished something really wonderful that I haven't. And I admire you for that. But this is our wedding and we have done the best that we can. And this experience, this opportunity for growth, is priceless. So, I will not feel bad about the cost--I will celebrate what this journey has brought us (even if its pretty darn expensive!). Cheers!