Wednesday, November 19, 2008


My fiance lives 571 miles away and I am planning a wedding 542 miles away from where I am right now. My fiance and I have been dating long distance for seven and a half months now and we have another nine to go. I like the fact that in planning a wedding we are also planning our lives together--where we will live (both where geographically and where specifically), what we will do, and all those little things that make up the every day. In the midst of planning the one day that marks the beginning of our lives as husband and wife we have tried to make an effort to discuss what comes next; the whole married part of getting married. Which is great and interesting and, I hope, helps open the lines of communication, so that they are well-trod familiar paths to us once we are actually married. And it makes the prospect of getting married and being married very very exciting--we will finally be together every day. Yay! But, I must admit that it is also hard and frustrating and sad. Some days it is just very sad. As in, I have found the love of my life and yet he is many miles away and when I am tired or sad I can't just lay my head on his shoulder and feel better just from his warm presence. Or make him laugh at my giddy silliness when I am happy. I know that couples have been separated for much longer and for much worse reasons. Everytime I start to feel too sorry for myself, I console myself thinking about how many other couples have suffered being apart except without the luxury of cell phones and e-mail and the other things that let us stay close despite the distance. Mostly, I just try to remain grateful that I have found someone so wonderful to spend my life with. He makes my days better even when he isn't physically present with me. And I am lucky, indeed, to have found that.

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