Love and Weddings

I apologize for my lack of posting lately. It is a direct result of trying to be more focused at work and spending less time reading blogs, finding inspiration, and posting about my thoughts. My evenings have also been more busy because I am trying to get into some kind of work out routine. It's also because we haven't made very many wedding decisions lately--we picked out our invitations (the ones via Paper Source I discussed below), but still no dress or bridesmaid dresses. And, it's also because, in light of my friends' sad tragedy, it has been difficult to get excited about the superficial details. Let's face it, I haven't been much into the details to begin with (see, e.g., the steak knives) and now they just seem to pale in comparison to the really important stuff--love, family, and friends. I feel indulgent and shallow spending time and energy on what is, at the end of the day, a party for me (and my beloved). Then I rationalize: a wedding is important (eloping has never been a serious option for us because (a) getting married in a Church is important to me, (b) community is an important part of a marriage--through marriage we assume a different status in our community and ask our community to support us on our marraige journey, and (c) celebrating life and love is a really good thing) and there are decisions that need to be made, even if they are superficial, because people need to eat and they need to drink and they need to have somewhere to sit or stand... and the list goes on. So, there we are. We are getting married. We are having a wedding. And we need to figure out the "stuff." Meg wrote a great post the other day on details. She said that if "we strive to create a wedding that reflects who we are and what we value, we will, without trying, create details that will form an indelible impression in our guests minds, details that will be a gift." Great!* But how do I figure out who we are and what we value? It just doesn't seem so simple. I cannot for the life of me figure out what "details" we have inadvertantly created. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. As a hostess I go WAY WAY overboard (I have admitted to being a perfectionist before, right?). And we simply cannot afford go overboard for our wedding (not enough time or money or energy). So, it is nearly impossible to reflect my (and our) method of entertaining--too much yummy homemade food and beverages--at our wedding. Or can we....

* And I really do mean great despite my subsequent whining. Meg's posts are insightful and honest and I totally agree with the sentiment and the concept, but just needed to voice my frustration in the context of my (our) individual journey to create a wedding that... feels good to us in spite of it being a giant money pit